Cheap, But Still Too Expensive
by Always With Amy
Summary: "But even Santana Lopez can't get in everyone's pants. Even Santana Lopez can't seduce him." - Unrequited Kurtana; an experiment in style.


**Disclaimer:: **Glee is not mine.

~.~.~

**6 Unrequited Oneshots**

**Pairing Santana/Kurt**

**Theme: Sluttiness**

**~.~.~**

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's fucking gorgeous, and no one dares to forget it. Her hair is long, and silky – even if it's not all hers. Her eyes are deep, and soulful, and always so _dark _with the lust that's permanently etched into them. Her body is _smoking_, and well-cared for, and perfectly toned. She's a goddess, and everyone sees it. Boys and girls, young and old, committed or single – they all just _stare_.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She may not be the Head Cheerleader, but that doesn't mean that she's not the HBIC. She's a bitch, and damn proud of it. She's been with nearly all of the guys at McKinley, and she uses that to her advantage – after all, it'd be pretty easy for her to say that some guy's shit in bed, and have people believe her. She's ruthless when it comes to other girls – she tears them new ones on a regular basis, and they can't do anything about it.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's the unofficial slut of the school. It's not to say that she's easy, or doesn't have standards – because she does, and the standards in question are fairly high. It's more that she's just so _desirable _that boys go out of their way to try and meet her standards, and she rewards their efforts with her body.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She can't be tamed, and anyone who wants her on their arm to parade up and down the halls has another thing coming. Locking pinkies with Brittany is one thing, but being some meathead jock's Quinn Fabray, wearing his promise ring around and automatically knowing that she's going to the dance with him? It's not Santana's style.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's the sex queen, and she's supposed to be the object of lust for everyone. She's not supposed to wake up with an unfamiliarly uncomfortable moistness between her legs, sweat beaded on her caramel flesh, and heart racing because she dreamt of _someone_.

But even Santana Lopez can't get in everyone's pants. Even Santana Lopez can't seduce _him_.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's stunning, and he tells her as much. He tells her she's stunning when she's re-teaching him the newest routine for Cheerios while wearing an outfit that would make any other boy drool; he tells her she's stunning when he sees her in something other than her Cheerios uniform, that he says flatters her better; he tells her she's stunning when she's just waking up after one of his many slumber parties, and she hasn't even managed to put on her mask of cold indifference and snarkiness. But he doesn't say _stunning _the way that other boys always have; he doesn't say _stunning _like he actually means _damn sexy_.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's a bitch, and he tells her as much. He tells her she's a bitch when she insults him for the millionth time that day, calling him 'pear-hips' even though she knows he's sensitive about them; he tells her she's a bitch when he's just witnessed her going out of her way to make someone's day really shitty, just because she can; he tells her she's a bitch when she runs her fingers through his hair and screws up his perfectly-fixed tresses. But he doesn't say _bitch_ in the way that gets under her skin; he doesn't say _bitch _like he's not joking and sincerely means to offend her.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's cheap, and he tells her as much. He tells her she's cheap when he catches her making out with some football player whose name she doesn't even remember between classes; he tells her she's cheap when she texts him ten minutes before they were set to go out, because she met a college guy at a party and is going to spend the night at his dorm instead; he tells her she's cheap when she recounts the way that all she asked for from Finn after taking his v-card was a burger. But he doesn't say _cheap _the way other people do, when it just rolls off her back; he doesn't say _cheap _like he couldn't care less what she does with her body.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's wild, and he tells her as much. He tells her she's wild when he catches sight of her calendar, and sees that she has a date for every night of the week, with six different names; he tells her she's wild when she talks about the hot guy whose number she got while she was on a date with some boy from the basketball team; he tells her she's wild when she calls him at two AM and slurs a request for a ride home, and tells him that she's at Puck's house, in his bathtub with two guys – neither of whom being the one she came with, or Puck. But he doesn't say _wild_ the way that would actually make her happy to hear it; he doesn't say _wild _like he's broken-hearted, or like his dreams of making her his girlfriend have been crushed.

Santana is _Santana Lopez_. She's McKinley's Marilyn Monroe, and he tells her as much. He tells her she's McKinley's Marilyn when they're walking down the hall together, and the wolf whistles echo after her; he tells her she's McKinley's Marilyn when rumors begin to fly about her and a Chemistry teacher at the school; he tells her she's McKinley's Marilyn when he's staring at her, in shock at having been kissed and clearly not understanding _why him?_ But he doesn't say _McKinley's Marilyn _in the way that she (not-so-)secretly wishes he would; he doesn't say _McKinley's Marilyn _with anything more than a kind of admiration for her position.

But even Santana Lopez can't charm the gay kid onto Team Straight. Even Santana Lopez can't make Kurt Hummel fall in love with a female body.


End file.
